Bringing your boyfriend and girlfriend to meet your parents is intimidating for the first time but with cross-cultural differences, it could even be more intense. In Chinese culture, if you meet Chinese parents, usually means marriage and proposal are next. However, that may not necessarily be the case due to American values and assimilation.

Please note, that these tips are mostly applied to the Cantonese culture from the Hong Kong/Guangzhou region. There may be slight differences, but it still applies!

1. Bringing a gift: for the first time, it may be helpful to ask what the parents like, it can be a small gift (you can ask your gf or bf for tips, for example, if the gf's mother likes perfume, you can get something at Sephora). Or if the father drinks, XO Hennesy is a great gift. When in doubt, you can bring fruits or flowers (for flowers, you should avoid white, as it is bad luck, white flowers are for funerals only), same with apples, apples are for funerals. Stick with oranges, clementines (good luck), persimmons, logan, dragonfruit, and some chocolate like Ferrero Rocher.
2. Take off your shoes and avoid putting a bookbag on the floor: If you are meeting at home, make sure you wear a pair of shoes that you can take off, and the socks have no holes and are not stinky. In Asian households, we take off our shoes when we enter the apartment. If you have a bookbag, ask the family where to put it, but not on the floor as bookbag has been everywhere, and they may not want it on the floor.
3. If you are meeting in dim sum, learn to pour tea at a 45 degrees tilt, and hold your hands on the lid, make sure you pour the tea starting with the oldest person to the youngest person, from male to female, until the whole table tea is filled and poured. Then do it again, after they drink it. If they pour you tea, make sure you tap a few times on the table near the cup, which means thank you.
4. Greetings: Always greet the parents Mr and Mrs and say Good Morning or Good Afternoon, even better if you can learn to say it in Cantonese or Mandarin, the first thing you do when you see them, from the elder male to the youngest female at the table. There's nothing more rude than entering a Chinese person's home and not greeting the grandparents and parents. They won't say anything to you but their child will get the scolding for bringing uncultured people to the house!
5. If you are eating dim sum or at a restaurant, it would help to say a few phrases in Cantonese or Mandarin, such as thank you, check please, goodbye, taste good, and good morning, The parents will be impressed and it shows you are willing to learn their culture and language.  
6. Outfit- avoid wearing black/blue, or a tank top, showing too much skin. Color matters, red is always good because it's lucky, or a nice green (peaceful, serene), brown (represents honesty, and yellow (prosperous and happy). I avoid white because you do not want soy sauce stains, Chinese food is very saucy. Chinese people care a lot about how you are dressed and how you look. First impression matters a lot. Business casual would work!
7. Learn to use chopsticks, since the table will be using chopsticks, it would be awkward if you use a fork, try to learn to use chopsticks if you can.
8. Paying for the meal and bringing cash, or at least pretending to fight for the check, shows the family that you can provide for their daughter, In Chinese culture, men are expected to pay and provide financially. You do not want to be perceived as cheap or poor. There is also a check-fighting culture, the father may want to pay for the meal, let him, but at least try to pay for it. If you cannot win, then pay for the tips and thank them in Cantonese.

If you are dating interracially and want a Asian American therapist  in NYC that could understand and guide you, let me be the bridge between two cultures. please contact me to book a free 15 minutes consultation.